to be a woman

What is it to be a woman? I continue to cut my hair shorter and shorter. I am amazed at the reactions I get that somehow I have become masculine. This from young children all the way to adult men and women. Now there are a number of reasons why I like my hair short. The first is practicality, the second is, ummm, practicality, the third is that it is easy, the fourth is that it makes me look like the pixie I am. On the positive side, I also hear that it makes my eyes stand out.

Someone close to me cut my hair for me recently. I was surprised to hear her say that despite how woodsy I am she knew that I still like to wear make-up and look feminine from time to time. I continued to counter that no, I was not going to style my hair every day and yes, I think that I look attractive when I am healthy. After the conversation I was surprised at how flustered I felt. Side note: I can and have cut my hair by myself but unfortunately seem to have lost my touch to cut my own hair symmetrically as a friend pointed out 2 weeks after the last time I tried . . .

What if attractive meant healthy? What if beautiful meant strong? What if lovely meant kind? What if fashion meant personal style and artistic expression? What if sexy meant in touch with the sacred feminine? What if we were all strong enough to stand by our own definitions of what it means to be a woman . . .and supported each other in that instead of comparing and criticizing. Oooh, what if women around the world stopped spending so much time trying to adhere to someone else's standard of beauty and used that time to focus on something deeper?

Now, I know that I stand among these women. I have been in that place in life were I wore makeup on a regular basis. I will admit that when my skin breaks out it can be hard to find myself attractive and I try to cover and protect my "red dots", as Phoenix calls them. There are days that wearing mascara, a dress, and eating chocolate make me feel attractive (and of course this greatly depends on location and lifestyle). I am accepting of the contradictions in my life . . .but what if we all took small steps to redefine femininity with acceptance of ourselves? Change takes time, but its time to start building bridges of understanding. I think that cutting down on unnecessary consumption of products from the beauty industry is a step towards sustainability (I'm sure there are eco-friendly beauty products, so choose your place on the spectrum): but maybe the first step is toward a healthier self.

At Eartheart Yoga community men and women each day would meditate together and do yoga. Then, those of us doing work-trade all worked together on cabins or to build Maya's house. One night we had a women's night. Only women allowed. Each woman dressed in a way that made her feel feminine, beautiful, or sexy. This ranged from me with my braided multicolored (blue and green yarn) hair let down my back in a light blue dress to Kaylie in a fish-net hose with a short skirt and her own fashionized-cut-up-tied-t-shirt. Oh, and I can't forget to mention 3 month old Phoenix in her diaper, lace hat, and belly-dancing-coin-scarf/skirt. Then we sat around a fire and sang and drummed. Being around these wild, free, hard-working women helped me to find acceptance and love for myself. I think that I have never felt more like a woman.

(Top 3 pictures are of artwork in Costa Rica. The bottom one is of a flower that a man at a shop in the mountains of Costa Rica gave to me. He handed it to me and said that I was a beautiful woman--despite the fact that I had short hair and was wearing shorts that I've had for 11 years, long socks, and very dirty cotton slip-on flats :)